Q: My boyfriend is a great guy, and I love him so much. I do not want to break up with him, but I don’t really know what to do right now… I told him that I may be hanging out with my friend later, and he gets all jealous and grouchy with me! He’ll be like that for a while :/ I try to talk with him about it and stuff, and just reassure him that him & I will hang out after, but it doesn’t change his mood. This really bugs me, any advice on how I should go about this?
Thanks for your question.
This is a common, but challenging question for many, of various ages. It is great that the two of you have a solid relationship so then it will be hopefully “easier” to have further discussion around his feelings and to verbalize your feelings.
If the situation was that you stated to your BF that you were hanging out with your friends later on a day that you dedicated to him, he has grounds to feel dismissed and unhappy. If he is always negative and jealous because you are spending time with your friends – this can be an issue of control.
Importantly, is your friend a male or female? If you are spending time with the opposite gender friend – this can be a huge issue with less secure relationships and some guys in general of any age.
You didn’t mention how old you or your BF are or if you have been dating for long – these are two important factors.
New relationships can make people feel insecure if they are worried about how dedicated the couple are to each other and risk of someone cheating. Young, inexperienced relationships can be more needy in general; just learning new aspects and boundaries in their relationships.
Open communication is the best way to keep a relationship safe from jealousy. Have conversations and discussions and make sure that you know each other well. Talk to him about your feelings of how this makes you feel when this happens.
Be honest and truthful. Any relationship that thrives on the pillars of honesty and trust, will be away from jealousy, simply because there is no unknown.
If you have any other questions, or would like to discuss your question further, please e-mail again. If you would like to talk, or make an appointment to see a health nurse, just give us a call at 519.482.3416 or 1.877.837.6143.
